I am an INFJ that possesses a lot of friends who are INFPs. (A more specific representation of me and my social circumstances can be projected when I draw on the enneagram discipline and combine this with the above, with this in mind I can relay that I am a type 9 INFJ who has many type 4 INFP friends) This is not written as purely a label for people and cannot be strictly classified as such. However it does allow me to simply portray a loose pattern of my friendship making habits. With shared INF (Introversion, Intuition, Feelings), we do have a lot in common. We enjoy holding intellectual conversations with each other about a multitude of topics. We can fill our days and nights with conversations about; the arts, psychology, sexuality, spirituality, philosophy, literature, possibilities, symbols and meanings; our rich inner life.


People of dominant Extrovert Sensing Type can find us a bit crazy or weird; daydreamers! It may be due to this that we can rarely explain our ideas and feelings to the Extrovert Sensing type. Our relationships with those close to us, like parents and siblings, of Extrovert Sensing type, especially when we were young, can make us feel misunderstood and feel like the minority. We have difficulties when finding the words to explain ourselves to them; it feels as if they hardly listen to what we have to say. Therefore, we often end up writing something to ourselves to read as an outlet!



Nevertheless, I and my INFP friends can easily communicate, even verbally we don’t have the same issues as above. We understand each other’s intuitions, manifested in symbols and metaphors. INFJs can highly understand sensitivity, complexity and creativity of INFPs. The only thing that differentiates us slightly is our Judging and Perceiving preferences, especially on the topics of how we prefer to live our lives. They can see us as somehow inflexible and rigid; we can see them as somehow afloat and random. This can be supported by an INFP friend’s remark that said “you know, you have very ‘fixed ideas.’ ” INFPs do not like hard logic either. And they do not like routines. But it does not mean they cannot work in an office from Mon to Fri, 9am-5pm, they just find it boring. They would prefer to lead a life that allows them to have more options open to them.  My INFP friends can go with the flow much easier than me. In contrast, my J makes me needy to have plans and generally accomplish things according to those decisive plans. I can get frustrated if things stray away from the plots I have organised and devised. My P friends teach me to enjoy life’s improvisations and stray away from the rules sometimes. I also show them how one can enjoy staying in the paths we have set and the satisfaction of completing the objectives we set. But, of course, my fixity is more chaotic, naughty and colourful than most J types!



Patrarat Suwanwatthana (ภัทรารัตน์ สุวรรณวัฒนา)
Suansivamoksa, Dhammadrops Foundation (สวนศิวโมกษ์, มูลนิธิหยดธรรม)